The phrase “neurodiversity” has only been used to refer to people who feel they don’t fit neatly into larger social patterns of expectations since a graduate student first used it in her master’s thesis in 1997. She referred to those with autism, dyslexia, and ADHD under this heading.

Her work was motivated by the idea that these are variances within the normal spectrum of human brain development, not deficiencies. The term neurodiverse couple refers specifically to a couple in which one partner is what we refer to as “neurotypical” (which roughly corresponds to 97% of the world’s population) and the other is neurodivergent with traits of autism, whether diagnosed or undiagnosed. 

Lack of Knowledge Causes Misunderstanding

The topic of neurodiversity as it relates to couples is not given sufficient prominence in graduate counselling curriculum or post-graduate internships nationwide. Therefore, even the greatest and most skilled therapists frequently overlook autism symptoms and continue treating a couple as though they were neurotypical and difficult or uncooperative.

Frustrated while looking for assistance

Sometimes therapists do take autism into account and advise a couple to consult with a neurodiversity specialist or think about getting tested to rule out or diagnosis autism. Undiagnosed autistic partners may object to this suggestion since they feel abruptly and blindsided by the term. Because the therapist did not sufficiently explain their justifications for making the advice or present the benefits to the person or couple seeking an examination, they often leave the counselling room in ruins and rarely return.

Understanding the experiences of Neurodiverse couples

Finding Partners Who Are Neurotypical

For instance, a sizable percentage of women have had Borderline Personality Disorder incorrectly diagnosed by therapists who mistook their annoyance for the disorder. The neurotypical partner’s genuine challenges are mistaken as co-dependency or dependent personality. When the neurotypical spouse tries to convey their inability to communicate effectively with their partner, no matter how they try, it is frequently urged to them that they cease considering oneself as a victim in the relationship.


The fact that so many couples are willing to take a deep breath and try counselling again is a miracle.

Please don’t give up if you think that you or your partner could be autistic and are having trouble getting the help and understanding you need from your therapist. Instead, look for an expert who is aware of the consequences of neurodiverse relationships for both parties. The feeling of being hugged in a therapeutic relationship is real.

If you’re looking for a “Psychologist near me,” use TalktoAngel, an online Counselling platform, to get in touch with the “Best therapist in India.”

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